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Therefore, one unconditionally or non judgmentally accepts all of the other person, because one has already unconditionally and non judgmentally accepted all of oneself first. They value that part of the other that they feel will gratify their feelings of deficiency, whereas real love is not out of feelings of deficiency, but out of a sense of wholeness already. Therefore, immature people, in feeling deficient, always seek to value some part of the other. And have gone beyond the immature stage of narcissistic self-valuing, which is based upon value judgments applied to only parts of my being, such as my intelligence, my attractiveness, my strength, athletic ability, or whatever, whereas love relates to the totality of the individual, rather than to the valuing or liking of any particular part of the total psychological or physical being. When I do that, I am fully capable then of accepting all that I create, and through that full responsibility for myself, and full acceptance of myself, I have reached a stage of true self-love, which also enables me to maturely love others. What that means is to take responsibility for the creation of whatever experiential self we are from moment to moment in other words, accepting the fact that I am the author of my own feelings and experiences. So it is really only the mature consciousness that is truly capable of loving, because it is only the mature consciousness that is fully able to take responsibility for oneself. Therefore, I am then free to let the world be all that it has to be, which is the essence of what love really means. This is because if I accept myself totally, whatever the world triggers in me will be acceptable to me. Therefore, in essence, to love oneself unconditionally, meaning non judgmentally, is also to love the world unconditionally, or non judgmentally. When one’s self-acceptance is unconditional, i.e., when I non judgmentally accept that I am the author of all of my positive and negative experiential states, and accept all of those relative opposites with the attitude of, “This too is me,” then whatever the world arouses in me will be totally acceptable to me, and I can then let it be, whatever it has to be, and I will accept it. Love is one’s most Essential Self, or pure consciousness substance, and is one’s unconditioned Being or consciousness.
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